Chapter 5: Mind the Gap

Daring Greatly Chapter 5 (Mind the Gap), pages 172-182.

In this chapter, Brené Brown explores how disengagement becomes a significant obstacle in workplaces, schools, and other systems where people feel disconnected from purpose, leadership, and each other. She discusses the "values gap"—the disconnect between what organizations say they value and what they actually practice.

Highlights:

• Disengagement Happens When Words and Actions Don't Align: When people hear leadership talk about values like "integrity" or "respect" but see those values ignored or contradicted in practice, trust erodes.
  • Where do you see a gap (if any) between our stated values as a team and our daily practices?
    • How does that gap affect your sense of engagement or trust at work?
• Culture is Built Daily: She emphasizes that culture isn't shaped by mission statements or big speeches, it’s shaped by the small choices people make every day, especially in how they show up and treat each other.
  • What are some small actions we could take to better live out our values collectively?
    • What would “walking the talk” look like in our daily work?
• Courageous Leaders Close the Gap: Leaders must have the courage to acknowledge when there’s a gap between values and behaviors, and take deliberate steps to close it through vulnerability, accountability, and real connection.

Brown lists a series of questions she asks to evaluate the culture and values of a group (below for reference).

• Do any of these questions stand out to you as being relevant for MOQC/POQC to consider?

1. What behaviors are rewarded? Punished?
2. Where and how are people actually spending their resources (time, money, attention)?
3. What rules and expectations are followed, enforced, and ignored?
4. Do people feel safe and supposted talking about how they feel and asking for what they need?
5. What are the sacred cows? Who is most likely to tip them? Who stands the cows back up?
6. What stories are legend and what values do they convey?
7. What happens when someone fails, disappoints, or makes a mistake?
8. How is vulnerability (uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure) perceived?
9. How prevalent are shame and blame and how are they showing up?
10. What’s the collective tolerance for discomfort? Is the discomfort of learning, trying new things, and giving and receiving feedback normalized, or is there a high premium put on comfort (and how does that look)?